A free guide from Mel

The honest
cosleeping guide.

A harm-reduction approach for breastfeeding mothers who want to bedshare safely. Built on Dr. James McKenna's Safe Sleep 7 framework.

12-min read Free Sent to your inbox
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A few of the questions you came in with

If you're here, you've already wondered.

  • Q.

    Whether the cot in the corner is actually being used.

  • Q.

    Whether falling asleep mid-feed was a one-time slip.

  • Q.

    Whether your partner notices you've stopped going back to the cot at all.

  • Q.

    Whether the advice you got was for your baby, or for a study from 1994.

  • Q.

    Whether bedsharing is actually unsafe, or whether unprepared bedsharing is.

  • Q.

    Whether anyone is going to give you a straight answer.

All of it is fair. Here's the framework, without the lectures.

The framework

The Safe Sleep 7.

Seven conditions. When they're met together, the research suggests bedsharing with a breastfed infant carries a significantly reduced risk compared to unprepared bedsharing.

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Sober

How clear-headed you have to be.

Non-smoker

The smoke question.

Nursing

Who can do this safely.

Healthy baby

When baby is ready.

On back

How baby starts the night.

Safe surface

Where you can share.

Not too warm

How cool the room runs.

Inside the guide

The chapters you'll actually read

No fear-mongering, no fluffy intros, no 20-page disclaimer. Just the framework, the reasoning, and what to do at 2am.

  • Why "never bedshare" advice quietly fails — and what the research actually shows.
  • The Safe Sleep 7 in plain language, with what each condition looks like in your room.
  • The cuddle-curl position. Why it exists. How to find it without thinking.
  • Set-up: bed height, mattress firmness, sheets, partners, pets, what to take out.
Send me the guide

Free. The link arrives in your inbox in about 30 seconds.

A free guide from Mel

The honest cosleeping guide.

A harm-reduction framework for the families who already are.

Mel above our love
Mel, founder of Above Our Love

Why I wrote this

I'm not a doula. I'm a mother who got tired of being lied to.

I'm not a midwife. I don't have letters after my name. I'm a new mother — doing this for the first time too — and when my baby came, every pediatric site I read said the same thing: never bedshare, full stop.

The problem was I was already bedsharing. Most of us are. The line was just so loud it crowded out the actual research, which is more honest, more useful, and built around how breastfeeding bodies actually behave at night.

So I built the guide I wished I'd had. Plain language. The framework. The reasoning. The 2am stuff no one talks about. Free, in your inbox, because this should not be paywalled.

— Mel

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